Well I went even farther last night and went downstairs for the first time since June without showering because I needed tums cause of how nauseous I felt. I washed my hands in the kitchen and then went back to bed. I slept until 3pm and I woke up feeling exactly as I thought I would, like shit. Basically my clean space is irreversibly dirty unless I threw out everything I owned lol. I’m not happy about it and I don’t know how long I’ll be stressed about it but I don’t forget it as its one step closer to recovery. Next logical step I think is to stop washing my arms because that takes a lot away from me physically and mentally.

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