I drank hard alcohol for the first time in awhile tonight and I hate how much it makes me feel better. It’s so hard to give up the only thing making you better. Another thing I realized is I haven’t used or touched my laptop in almost a year because of my ocd. I threw out the charger and I genuinely don’t even know where it is. Just another waste of money in my endless waste of money life. One thing I absolutely hate about my ocd is I care so much about the planet yet I contribute to waste every single day because of my ocd. Like I would love to be eco friendly but I need my paper towels and bleach. The amount of things I have thrown out in the last two years would make you cringe. It’s not only financially but also mentally fucking me up.