4/15

I’m so god damn tired of specks. I clean my entire desk everyday because there is always something on it and its become so mentally exhausting. My desk was cleaned this literal morning and then I saw a miniscule speck just now and touched it with my finger and it was gone. Now my mind is gonna go to the worst possible thing it could be and I could, get a wipe, wipe the desk and wash my hands, but I just spent 20 minutes washing my hands five minutes ago so I’m trying to fight it. I’m sitting here typing at my computers knowing there is something on my pointer finger and I am going to have an absolute melt down later when I see all the things I’m going to contaminate. A tiny black speck shouldn’t control my life but it does. Other people wouldn’t even notice the speck but if they did it wouldn’t affect them in the slightest. I’m tired.