Well I made Dylan clean everything so that’s done with lol. Anyway I’ve been thinking about how a lot of people know I have ocd but I still pretend I don’t when I’m around other people. If I or someone else touches something dirty and it can’t immediately be fixed I just pretend it didn’t happen and even play it off if someone says something but internally I’m literally screaming. I will spend the next several hours replaying what else I touched afterwards or what they touched so I know what to clean after. One time my friend touched something that was on the ground inside the gas station, then when we went home I basically followed her around and cleaned whatever she touched without her knowing until she washed her hands. I don’t like inconveniencing anyone else for my disorder so I’d rather just live with the pain until they are gone or until I’m no longer in public. One thing I notice is that when this happens I tend to like open my eyes wider because I’m straining the muscles in my face trying not to react. It’s like physically painful to not complete my compulsions.


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