This is gonna be kind of random but I was just thinking about it. I know that most people don’t understand my ocd, why would you when you don’t have it right. So I get it and it doesn’t bother me. That is until someone tries to tell me it’s not real. My ex for … Continue reading 6/1



I hate that I want to drink more water to be healthier but the idea of having to go into the bathroom any more times than I do now is so exhausting. This is what a usual bathroom routine is: go into the bathroom with my arms against my chest, shut the door with my … Continue reading 5/27


This last year I thought I was making progress at least a little bit. It’s been so long since I’ve been at the apartment that I felt like that part of my life was done. I was exposed again to roaches and I’m spiraling. I thought I was okay and now I feel like I … Continue reading 5/13


The other day I had a really bad issue with my ocd but I don’t even want to write it down cause I’d rather not think about it but it’s led me to be extra stressed lately. For my shower today I needed a new loofa and I store them in my nightstand with my … Continue reading 5/12


I did two things for my wedding yesterday and the day before and going out of the house for appointments really stresses out my ocd so I took today to just sleep. It worries me that this last year I have slept for days on end on many occasions and I’m terrified what having a … Continue reading 5/4


I was thinking that for the last couple of weeks I haven’t felt the overwhelming urge to die. You’d think that’s a good thing and something must be working but it almost feels worse. At least then I was feeling something now I’m just numb. I don’t want to live but I’m also too tired … Continue reading 4/20


I'm so god damn tired of specks. I clean my entire desk everyday because there is always something on it and its become so mentally exhausting. My desk was cleaned this literal morning and then I saw a miniscule speck just now and touched it with my finger and it was gone. Now my mind … Continue reading 4/15


I fucked up today. I tried to workout in my room and then I was just gonna use my shirt to get out the door. Not even 2 minutes in to working out there was something on my hand. I couldn't let it go so I left the room using my hand and not my … Continue reading 4/11


The other day I posted something on my instagram story that referenced my wedding website but everyone thought I meant the website linked in my bio which is this one. I only know this because it tells me when someone views it and from where. It just doesn’t tell me who. All I know is … Continue reading 4/2