I'm sitting at my desk right now and I noticed something on my mirror which is to the left of me. I have now sat here for twenty minutes holding my hand and arm out to see if I might have touched it or will touch it. I now have to wait 5 hours till … Continue reading 2/10
2/5
I went for a drive today and everything was fine until I decided to roll down my window. Whenever I do roll down my window I keep my finger on the button so I can quickly roll it up if I see trash or a puddle cause fuck no am I letting that in my … Continue reading 2/5
2/4
I’m not sure if this is actually ocd related but I have heard that being hyper aware of your breathing is so this might be too. For as long as I can remember, even when I was a kid I’ve been hyper aware of my arteries or just places you don’t want to get cut. … Continue reading 2/4
2/2
I have a lot on my mind today. One of the main things about OCD is you have to fight the compulsions because if you give in to them it tells your brain that you actually needed to do that in order to feel better, but that only gets more and more every time. For … Continue reading 2/2
1/26 Fort Brag
For Dylan’s birthday we rented and air bnb in fort brag and we booked it months ago. I had been stressing about it every since we booked it but obviously I had to go because it’s his birthday. When we showed up all I could pin point was a stain here, a spec there, a … Continue reading 1/26 Fort Brag
1/21
I keep buying stuff for my wedding in June but I have zero motivation to do anything for it. Wedding planning should be fun but every aspect of it is miserable when you can’t focus on what you need to.
1/17 Therapy
I decided to stop therapy sessions and now I feel like shit about it. It wasn’t helping because I think she wants me to be able to do things like say make food in the kitchen and not wash my hands at all. But when I was “better” I still washed my hands like three … Continue reading 1/17 Therapy
Lonely
You know it’s so lonely when you really think about it. People may share the same disorder but your intrusive thoughts are you’re own and affect you different than they would someone else. I’ve had this disorder for like 12 years now and I’m so alone. Nobody wants me to talk about it or hear … Continue reading Lonely
Baby bird
I went to target today which in itself was hard but as I was there I couldn’t stop thinking about how hard it was to walk. I literally looked like a baby bird learning to walk. I don’t go very many places so I don’t get a lot of walking in but it’s so embarrassing … Continue reading Baby bird
Throwing up
I also started a new medication like three weeks back and it didn’t occur to me till today that it’s what’s been making me sick. Especially at night, I have the overwhelming desire to throw up, like saliva building in your throat and pain right at your chest. I usually just take deep breaths and … Continue reading Throwing up
Inside Contamination Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 