Dylan bought me a chocolate bar yesterday and I ate some of it in bed, I sat there thinking man when I see these crumbs later I’m going to freak out. Well I woke up today and saw brown crumbs on my white blanket and freaked out. I told myself over and over again that … Continue reading 3/2
2/24
You know I always look back at my social media and realize people probably think I’m faking it because “oh look she’s sitting on the ground or touching this and that” but for 90% of the time I’m just masking. If I’m in public and I have to do something that I don’t want to … Continue reading 2/24
2/14
For some reason every time I see my psychiatrist he always wants to change things or add things to my regime regardless if I say I'm okay. Since switching to him I have gone up on three of my meds and now he's upping me on Luvox as well and I'm like....okay. I'm not really … Continue reading 2/14
2/10
I'm sitting at my desk right now and I noticed something on my mirror which is to the left of me. I have now sat here for twenty minutes holding my hand and arm out to see if I might have touched it or will touch it. I now have to wait 5 hours till … Continue reading 2/10
2/5
I went for a drive today and everything was fine until I decided to roll down my window. Whenever I do roll down my window I keep my finger on the button so I can quickly roll it up if I see trash or a puddle cause fuck no am I letting that in my … Continue reading 2/5
2/4
I’m not sure if this is actually ocd related but I have heard that being hyper aware of your breathing is so this might be too. For as long as I can remember, even when I was a kid I’ve been hyper aware of my arteries or just places you don’t want to get cut. … Continue reading 2/4
2/2
I have a lot on my mind today. One of the main things about OCD is you have to fight the compulsions because if you give in to them it tells your brain that you actually needed to do that in order to feel better, but that only gets more and more every time. For … Continue reading 2/2
1/26 Fort Brag
For Dylan’s birthday we rented and air bnb in fort brag and we booked it months ago. I had been stressing about it every since we booked it but obviously I had to go because it’s his birthday. When we showed up all I could pin point was a stain here, a spec there, a … Continue reading 1/26 Fort Brag
1/21
I keep buying stuff for my wedding in June but I have zero motivation to do anything for it. Wedding planning should be fun but every aspect of it is miserable when you can’t focus on what you need to.
1/17 Therapy
I decided to stop therapy sessions and now I feel like shit about it. It wasn’t helping because I think she wants me to be able to do things like say make food in the kitchen and not wash my hands at all. But when I was “better” I still washed my hands like three … Continue reading 1/17 Therapy
Inside Contamination Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 