I bought some pens and notebooks off Amazon a couple days ago and I just got them. I did everything right, opened the packaged and dumped them on the bed without touching them. Then when I brought them to my desk there was black specs everywhere and it wasn’t ink cause it was hard. Now … Continue reading 3/15



I’ve recently had a probably of purely imagining things that aren’t there. Like I thought I saw something on my hand and now I’ve very closely inspected it at least 50 times, asked dylan if he sees anything, smelled it, etc and I still can’t get it through my head that it isn’t there. At … Continue reading 3/10


I think like two weeks ago I thought there was something on my hand and then I touched a section of my closet so since then I have thought that area was dirty and I haven’t gone near it. Today there was some clothes in the hallway so I thought Dylan had moved the clothes … Continue reading 3/8


Dylan bought me a chocolate bar yesterday and I ate some of it in bed, I sat there thinking man when I see these crumbs later I’m going to freak out. Well I woke up today and saw brown crumbs on my white blanket and freaked out. I told myself over and over again that … Continue reading 3/2


I went for a drive today and everything was fine until I decided to roll down my window. Whenever I do roll down my window I keep my finger on the button so I can quickly roll it up if I see trash or a puddle cause fuck no am I letting that in my … Continue reading 2/5


I’m not sure if this is actually ocd related but I have heard that being hyper aware of your breathing is so this might be too. For as long as I can remember, even when I was a kid I’ve been hyper aware of my arteries or just places you don’t want to get cut. … Continue reading 2/4


You know it’s so lonely when you really think about it. People may share the same disorder but your intrusive thoughts are you’re own and affect you different than they would someone else. I’ve had this disorder for like 12 years now and I’m so alone. Nobody wants me to talk about it or hear … Continue reading Lonely

Throwing up

I also started a new medication like three weeks back and it didn’t occur to me till today that it’s what’s been making me sick. Especially at night, I have the overwhelming desire to throw up, like saliva building in your throat and pain right at your chest. I usually just take deep breaths and … Continue reading Throwing up